Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...No, No, No!

G'day Tragics,

This weeks post could upset a few patriotic Aussie sports fans, but as usual I couldn't give a rats.

What I'd like to discuss is something that began bugging me about 5 years ago and has gradually built to an extreme annoyance.  I don't know how to say this gently, so here goes.

Aussie sports fans are becoming...massively embarrassing!

Let's go back in time to the '80's.  The green and gold zinc cream, the c'mon Aussie c'mon and last but not least, a shit load of grog.  An identity was born.  The Australian sports fan.  There was nothing better than strapping on the yellow singlet, thongs, flag cape, head band, zinc etc. and heading to the cricket, soccer or marbles.

I have participated in this ritual many times in my life and have loved every minute of it.  From World cup cricket to to the Davis Cup.  I have donned the Fanatics t-shirt, got drunk and chanted the cringeful "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie" with the best of them.  Good times no doubt, but times that need to be banished to the past.

Aussie fans are harvesting a reputation of being un-sophisticated, boorish and repetitively predictable sports fans.  Listening to the "Oi, Oi, Oi" war cry these days is more embarrassing than getting dacked on a cold day with no gruds on (has happened). 

When he started the Fanatics, Warren Livingstone had the right idea.  He introduced songs and chants, dressed his crew in a uniform and made everyone involved feel like a vital cog in an Aussie machine.  The Fanatics would appear randomly at sporting events world wide.  They would give our combatants a huge boost and often inspire them to super-human performances.  Lleyton's love of the Fanatics is folklore.  They became an institution.

Like all little things that get big, the Fanatics have become huge and in the process lost that something special that made it unique.  A lot like when Kath and Kim sold out and left the ABC...maybe not.
So many fans rotate through the Fanatics production line, that the cheers from the stands have lost that initial passion and dare I say it soul.  It's more like a tourist attraction than a genuine bunch of sporting diehards.

The Barmy Army are a shining example of what we should be aiming for.  These lads are a well oiled machine, that have a core group of passionate ring-leaders. They have basically put their lives on hold to follow the Pommy cricket team.  I've been lucky enough to sit near the Army at an Ashes test and I can honestly say their presence enhances the experience rather than soils it.  Their songs are humorous, yet rousing.  They sing as one big, pasty, sun burnt, drunk orchestra and everyone loves it.

The Poms are crap at sport, but great at watching it.  How many times do you watch a Premier League game and wish you were there.  The atmosphere is incredible.  The crowd becomes one giant entity...not 20,000 individuals.  The only thing that comes close here is the national anthem at the start of a Bledisloe Cup match.  I get goose bumps just thinking about it.  It's that sort of passion and class that needs to be bottled and reproduced.

Australian fans are passionate, but presently it's misguided passion.  It's time to start a new culture. Let's ditch the canary yellow and bring in the eucalyptus green, with a tinge of gold.  Let's assassinate that horrid chant...you know the one and replace it with a few stirring anthems like Waltzing Matilda and True Blue (optional).  Throw in a guy on the electric didgeridoo and we're halfway there.

It's time to get Australia back on top in the fans stakes.  Let's make our enemies respect our style not detest it.  I want to be a part of something special again, like the early Fanatics.  It's not too late, it's time for change.  What are your suggestions?

Who's with me...Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Tragic.

Who Said Nice Guys Finish Last?

G'day Tragics,

I've written about the dickheads and court jesters of the sporting world and as we all know, there are a truck-load of them.  This week I pay tribute to the nice guys of sport.  The legends that go about their business quietly and efficiently, without making pricks of themselves off the field.  Here we go!

The men want to be him nice guy.
This category celebrates the sportsman that is not only a gun, but has everything going for them.  They have the looks, the lifestyle, the talent and best of all, they are top blokes.  Kelly Slater would be a good example.  For years he has dominated his sport like no other, yet remained human and grounded.  He gets media attention, but doesn't seek it.  Sure he's dated a few models and actresses, but not to get his head in a magazine.  Always humble and generous with praise for competitors, Slater is the sort of bloke I'd be happy to trade places with.  Also in this category: Rafael Nadal and Jenson Button.

Son of a gun nice guy.
Imagine if your old man was one of the biggest names in sport and you were trying to not only make a name for yourself, but step out of an enormous shadow.  It's obvious, Gary Ablett Jnr is the poster boy for this group.  Not only has he managed to become his own man, he has done it with style and dignity.  His Dad was a superstar, but also a misunderstood character than shunned the limelight.  A series a off field incidents tarnished his off-field reputation, but he eventually made the AFL hall of fame.
Son Gary chose his own number and his own path.  Quietly grinding out a career based on hard work and talent, not Dad's god-like status.  As his skills and standing in the game blossomed, so did his public image.  Unlike his father, junior spoke to the media gradually and politely.  He never dodged stupid questions about his Dad, which have almost halted.  His footy has done the talking and the footy world has listened intently.  Others in this group: Shaun Marsh and CJ Bruton.

Aussie favourites nice guy.
There are some blokes that make you extremely proud to be Australian.  Win, lose or draw, you know these lads will show the same grace and sportsmanship every time.  These guys are world beaters, but never forget where they came from or who helped them get there.  Casey Stoner is one of my favourites.  This young man is arse kickingly good at his trade, but the way he handles himself is what catches my eye.  Always articulate and composed, he praises his rivals, but maintains a steely determination to always do his best.  You never see him in the paper for being pissed and obnoxious, because he's too busy training or hanging out with the family.  Normal stuff...that's why I love the guy.  More Aussie favourites:  Pat Rafter and Andrew Bogut.

They say sport needs characters, which is true, but can someone please explain the difference between a character and a wanker?  I see nothing wrong with a sportsman being clean cut and brilliant.  Why does someone have to do or say stupid shit to be labelled "interesting".

Manny Pacquiao, Roger Federer and more recently Rory McIlroy are three of the best.  People admire them, but also contemplate what makes them tick.  The sports stars that are stupidly good are the ones I find most intriguing.  What drives them?  How do they remain so focused?  How do they balance fame with reality? 

Maybe these nice guys could run a TAFE course on "How to be a real champion".  They would make a fortune...hang on they already have one....tragic.

There's no I in Team.

G'day Tragics,

This week's poll got me thinking.  When do sports people decide whether they are going to pursue a team or individual sport as a profession?  Do they follow a path they grew up with?  Maybe a sport that suits their personality?  Do they chase the big money?  Pushy parents perhaps?

There is such a wide chasm between team and individual sports and ultimately the participants.  Being a lover of team sports myself, I also thrive on the individual challenges offered in the lonely pursuits of golf and tennis.  Amateurs can afford to have a mix: we don't need to earn a living and dedicate our lives.

Individual Sports.

Have you ever felt like slapping Lleyton Hewitt's face every time he does one of his ear drum busting "C'monnnns"?  It's impossible not to admire the gutsy South Aussie, but occasionally his extreme petulance is hard to bare.  Could his behaviour stem from the fact that he has been on the road with a tennis racket and his Mum and Dad since he was wetting the bed?  Lleyton and thousands of other individual champions have always been surrounded by coaches, trainers and "yes" people...not team-mates, school mates and the real world.

Those that are champions in sports such as tennis, golf, athletics, swimming, cycling and boxing just to name a few must be obsessively disciplined, dedicated, regimented and determined.  They must isolate themselves from society to train, train and train some more if they hope to become the best of the best. 

Do they choose this life or does it choose them?

Is being an individual champion somewhat hollow?  After a huge victory do they go out and have a few beers with themselves?  Do they have a 20 year reunion alone to revisit their own achievements?  Or do they merely receive a hug from their folks, then launch back into training for their next assignment?
It's hard to imagine following that black line in the pool day after day.  Is it any wonder swimmers retire in their early 20's?  Running round and round and round a track must be so bloody boring.  Hopping on the bike for a leisurely 300km ride...Do they have a bum masseur?

Apart from golf, tennis, cycling and motor sport, there is very little financial reward for the dedicated souls of individual sport.  Some work multiple jobs,  sleep in their cars or sell their soul to support their passions.  Some of these sports fail to capture the mammoth television audiences enjoyed by team games.  It's yet another downside to the battle of being a lone ranger.  You have to wonder what drives these legends.

Maybe it's the ultimate sense of achievement, the thrill of the challenge.  While you're eating fish and chips, these people are making their own fishing rod.  Constantly striving to better oneself is a drug and these athletes are addicts.  They aren't lonely, it's all they've ever known.  It's like being born somewhere cold, but never needing a jumper...it's completely normal.  The repetitive training, the strict diet and the non-existent social life is a job...a job they are bloody good at...a job they love.  Those that have made it are truly special and unique.

We watched in horror as Tiger Woods fell from grace and wondered "what was he thinking?"  We wonder if Federer is actually a  robot from the future.  Thorpedo is a mystery we may never solve.

There is no doubt that individual athletes face many battles, both on and off the field.  Mental, financial, social and psychological wars would be a workplace hazard.  Unless you've lived such a life it's hard to imagine.  It's a sacrifice to be the best in the world...especially their world.

Team Sports.

Pranks, road-trips and scandals are three very random things that all play an integral role in binding the fabric of a sports team.  Being part of a team is essentially like having a second family and in professional sport, possibly more like a first family.

Victories, losses and everything in between are shared equally amongst a group a men or women that have build a bond based on blood, sweat and tears.  These surrogate brothers and sisters share the load of  a chaotic life in professional sport. 

It's true that not all teams are a cohesive unit that have family picnics following match day.  Over-paid premier league stars are rumoured to share mostly a professional relationship with each other at best.  Could these be individuals that have stumbled into the wrong sport...who knows?  Inflated egoes and pay checks sometimes leave groups as a team of individuals.

So what draws one to becoming a team player?  Camaraderie?  Working with a group of others towards a common goal? Being able to hide in a group when a mistake is made?  Or can I go as deep as saying : looking for a family life one never had?

Conclusion.

As I said earlier, I've never really given this topic much thought before and reading back I've written a lot of dribble.  It's like the chicken and the egg.  Does the sport you ultimately choose to dedicate yourself to contribute to shaping you as a person, or does your personality guide you to the sport your destined to play?

After a few weeks of self indulgence, I thought it was time to get a little deep and meaningful.  This topic has left me scratching my head, with no real answer.  Individual or Team that is the question. 

My humble, un-important personal take is this:  I ultimately chose Aussie Rules football as my number one sport when I was much younger and better looking.  I am someone that thrives in a team environment, I love feedback from others and soak up the off field relationships formed.  Training in a group is exhilarating during the good times and bearable during the bad.  Now older I enjoy catching up with team-mates and reliving the "good old days". 

Honestly, I don't think I possessed the mental toughness or the discipline to go the extra mile required for an individual sport.  I relied on my natural ability, rather than pushing myself to develop and grow.  I find it tough to go for a run or to the gym alone.  I like a training partner, someone to train with and against.  Ultimately I'm wired as a team man.

Now it's your turn to get on the shrinks couch...Individual or team...spill the beans....Tragic.

Sporting bucket lists!

G'day Tragics,

Attending the State of Origin a few weeks back enabled me to tick another box on my sporting bucket list.  The crossing off of such an event is not something I take lightly.  You see, for a sporting tragic, attending a major or personally significant sporting event is more than it seems.

It is hard to describe, when you attend something you have watched on TV all your life, dreaming that one day you'll be a part of it.  The atmosphere and the realisation that the person next to you feels exactly the same is truly something special.  You want to soak it up, breathe it in and have it never end.  No matter who wins or loses, it's something you will never forget, yet never be able to truly replicate in a tall story at the pub...there's no way to do it justice.

I am lucky enough to have had the opportunity to live a few of my sporting dreams, but many remain "un-ticked".  I put the word out this week to my friends on facebook, to let me know about their filled and unfulfilled sporting odysseys, which I will list on the blog.  The response was huge and I could sense the enthusiasm and excitement in each and every answer submitted. 

There's something about sharing a once in a lifetime experience with thousands of others...it's as if you form an unspoken bond with a mass of strangers.  I thought this week I'd share my top 10 sporting experiences with you, then unveil my ultimate top 10 "bucket list".  I urge you all to do the same in the comments.

Have dones!

1. 2007 AFL Grand Final - Being a die hard Geelong fan has been hard over the years.  Abuse, being laughed at and school yard beatings were the norm as a boy.  Having seen my beloved cats lose in '89, '92, '94, and '95 on the box, I made the huge statement that when or if the cats make another GF, I would be there.  In 2007 we snuck through the preliminary and the race was on to get tickets.  I forked out $1200 for the worst seats in the house, but didn't care because we tore the Power a new one and won the flag. 
The 119 point hiding was the best day of my sporting life.  We sat next to an old guy that was crying during the medal presentation, telling us he was there in '63 when we won our last.  I cried too...it was heaven.

2. 1999 Davis Cup Final , Nice, France - Having never been to a major tennis match before, we weren't to sure how fast we should be drinking our beers.  First day of the two day final, it turned out we'd be drinking way too fast.  Following Mark Philipousis's first rubber victory against the French, I came a huge gutser down the stairs of the stadium.  I was rushed to hospital in an ambulance, where it turned out I'd buggered my ankle quite badly.  After many les panadol and some sleep, I was back in the green and gold on day 2 to see the Poo, the Woodies, Rafter and Llyeton wrap up the huge win for Australia.  I was assisted onto the court with the other "fanatics", where we made "clay angels", as well as total pricks of ourselves.  I'll never forget one of our songs - "John Newcombe Superstar" appallingly beautiful. I think the "Poo" hooked up with a stripper...good one!

3. Running of the Bulls - Pamplona Spain (1999 or 2000?)  - Another messy affair, but by far the most electric shindig I've ever been to.  Technically not a sporting event - because I'm not a huge fan of bull fighting - but I'm going to squeeze it in.  I will never forget the buzz or chaos of the opening ceremony.  Once the canon fired to signal the start of the festival it was on!  It was the only time in my life when I thought I was going to cark it!  I was caught in a crowd surge.  The crush was frightening and I was having thoughts of the disastrous soccer crowd crushes of history.  I survived and went on to have an educational week.  During the actual running I stayed well out of the stampede zone.  Nursing another ankle injury I wasn't taking any risks.  Something I will never forget.

4. World Cup Cricket Match - Old Trafford, Manchester, 1999 - This match between Australia and the West Indies was probably one of the most boring of the tournament, but to watch your country play a World Cup match in England can't be sneezed at.  It was freezing and we were sitting at the very top of a temporary grandstand; one where seats spring up when you stand.  We'd bought a six pack and one of the lads had it sitting on his seat while he was putting on his jumper.  You can guess the rest...the beers were catapulted off the top of the stand and into the car park.  Thank Christ no-one was hurt, but we were threatened with ejection.  We convinced security that Aussies wouldn't throw away beer on purpose, so they let us stay.  Australia won and we were lucky enough to share a drink with the players in the city that night.  Awesome!

5. Rubber rafting down the Nile River, Uganda, 1999 - The title speaks for itself.  Not a world sporting event, but something personally special.  To be rafting down one of the world great rivers was truly surreal.  I spent more time in the river than on it.  Our cheeky French guide was a true rascal, dumping us out on every grade 5 rapid.  The constant fear of drowning was perfectly balanced by the enormity of the journey.  Mind blowing.

6. Boxing Day Test Vs South Africa, Can't remember year  - The most sacred day on the Australian cricket calendar.  80,000 at the "G", the hush of the first ball and a few quiet beers in the sun with your best mates.  It reeks of "Australiana" doesn't it?  From memory, the year I was there, Matty Hayden went ape shit, knocking up a rapid ton...maybe the "black belt" Langer got one too.  Who cares, we went out that night, had a big one, then went straight from the night club back to the MCG for day 2.  Priceless.

7. Port Macquarie Ironman Triathlon, 2010 - Personally very significant for me with my brother, Joe and his wife, Amelia competing.  To be totally honest,I thought I was in for a pretty long, boring day watching some swimming, cycling and running over and over.  I couldn't have been more wrong!  It is impossible not to get totally swept up in the the atmosphere of an Ironman.  So many fit buggers in one place, it's makes you feel like the laziest bastard on earth.
Once the race gets under way, it's a mad washing machine of bodies.  Amelia was the first woman out of the drink and the bro also swam a personal best.  The bike leg can take 5-8 hours, so there's a lot not knowing and nerves for the spectators.  When your family member comes in to view, it's hard not to explode with pride, as you trawl through your vocab for an inspirational quote that has to be delivered in 0.5 sec as they rocket past.
Once the 180km ride is done, the pain can really begin...it's time for the marathon.  Unbelievable.  Every time I saw Joe, he looked liked he was going to die, but continued smiling all the way to the grave.  Amelia looked strong and was in the mix with the pro women.
Amelia crossed the line in third.  She was/is brilliant.  Joe did 12.5 hours, a personal best, beating the year before by almost an hour. 
Including my own personal sporting highlights, football premierships etc...this topped them all.  Watching Joe and Amelia do an Ironman was unforgettable. I get a lump in my throat re-living it.

8. Australian PGA Golf Championship, Coolum, Qld, 2009 (I think) - Since giving away football, golf has taken over as my number one sporting passion.  The Aussie PGA was my first big tournament.  As soon as we walked on the course, my wife will tell you I was giggling like a 12 year old school girl.  The fairways were like carpet, the greens were even better.  We followed the likes of Scott, Ogilvy, Appleby, Allenby and "Long" John Daly in his loud slacks.  The golf was sublime, the course was spectacular.  You could stand right next to the big names as they stroked their approaches to within a foot.  It was a golfers dream....but bloody hot.  I'm playing there in August....can't wait.

9. England Vs Ukraine, Wembley Stadium, 2000 - It was a friendly, on a Wednesday night and it wasn't packed; but there is something special about watching England, including David Beckham, play at Wembley.
I'll never forget it...we had crap seats, there was a beam restricting our view and the game wasn't overly spectacular.  The thing that stuck out was Beckham.  Not only could he play, he could run.  He ran his arse off (settle ladies), constantly putting himself in a dangerous position.  I was intrigued with his off the ball movement and spent most of the night watching him.  The Poms won and I furthered my education of the beautiful game.  It was one of those cool things to do.

10. State of Origin, Lang Park, 2011 - See last weeks post. Bloody awesome.  Queenslander!

Special mention - A major league baseball match in Toronto, Canada, 2005

My "To do" List.

1. US Masters, Augusta, Golf
2. Soccer World Cup Finals (Australia maybe?)
3. Do a skydive
4. Monaco Grand Prix (been to place, just not the race)
5. Superbowl
6. Do a half Marathon (No desire to do a full or triathlon)
7. Go to an Olympics (100m mens final - was overseas for Sydney)
8. Go to an NBA game
9. Go to an NHL game
10 . Go to the Tour de France

These are off the top of my head, there are many more.  Every tragic has their own list and their own reasons for that list.  As I said, for a sports nut there is nothing quite like putting a tick on your bucket list.  It's what dreams are made of and what you live and work hard for.  I hope you enjoyed my walk down memory lane. I'd love to see what your bucket lists contain.....Tragic.

PS. Bucket List items of followers at the bottom of blog. Cheers...Next week the followers "have done" list.