Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...No, No, No!

G'day Tragics,

This weeks post could upset a few patriotic Aussie sports fans, but as usual I couldn't give a rats.

What I'd like to discuss is something that began bugging me about 5 years ago and has gradually built to an extreme annoyance.  I don't know how to say this gently, so here goes.

Aussie sports fans are becoming...massively embarrassing!

Let's go back in time to the '80's.  The green and gold zinc cream, the c'mon Aussie c'mon and last but not least, a shit load of grog.  An identity was born.  The Australian sports fan.  There was nothing better than strapping on the yellow singlet, thongs, flag cape, head band, zinc etc. and heading to the cricket, soccer or marbles.

I have participated in this ritual many times in my life and have loved every minute of it.  From World cup cricket to to the Davis Cup.  I have donned the Fanatics t-shirt, got drunk and chanted the cringeful "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie" with the best of them.  Good times no doubt, but times that need to be banished to the past.

Aussie fans are harvesting a reputation of being un-sophisticated, boorish and repetitively predictable sports fans.  Listening to the "Oi, Oi, Oi" war cry these days is more embarrassing than getting dacked on a cold day with no gruds on (has happened). 

When he started the Fanatics, Warren Livingstone had the right idea.  He introduced songs and chants, dressed his crew in a uniform and made everyone involved feel like a vital cog in an Aussie machine.  The Fanatics would appear randomly at sporting events world wide.  They would give our combatants a huge boost and often inspire them to super-human performances.  Lleyton's love of the Fanatics is folklore.  They became an institution.

Like all little things that get big, the Fanatics have become huge and in the process lost that something special that made it unique.  A lot like when Kath and Kim sold out and left the ABC...maybe not.
So many fans rotate through the Fanatics production line, that the cheers from the stands have lost that initial passion and dare I say it soul.  It's more like a tourist attraction than a genuine bunch of sporting diehards.

The Barmy Army are a shining example of what we should be aiming for.  These lads are a well oiled machine, that have a core group of passionate ring-leaders. They have basically put their lives on hold to follow the Pommy cricket team.  I've been lucky enough to sit near the Army at an Ashes test and I can honestly say their presence enhances the experience rather than soils it.  Their songs are humorous, yet rousing.  They sing as one big, pasty, sun burnt, drunk orchestra and everyone loves it.

The Poms are crap at sport, but great at watching it.  How many times do you watch a Premier League game and wish you were there.  The atmosphere is incredible.  The crowd becomes one giant entity...not 20,000 individuals.  The only thing that comes close here is the national anthem at the start of a Bledisloe Cup match.  I get goose bumps just thinking about it.  It's that sort of passion and class that needs to be bottled and reproduced.

Australian fans are passionate, but presently it's misguided passion.  It's time to start a new culture. Let's ditch the canary yellow and bring in the eucalyptus green, with a tinge of gold.  Let's assassinate that horrid chant...you know the one and replace it with a few stirring anthems like Waltzing Matilda and True Blue (optional).  Throw in a guy on the electric didgeridoo and we're halfway there.

It's time to get Australia back on top in the fans stakes.  Let's make our enemies respect our style not detest it.  I want to be a part of something special again, like the early Fanatics.  It's not too late, it's time for change.  What are your suggestions?

Who's with me...Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Tragic.