How good is the Spring Racing Carnival? Hordes of closet race fans explode from the woodwork, clogging up TAB queues Australia-wide. Punters confidently armed with unique betting systems based on jockey colours, lucky numbers and catchy names.
Mum “going berko” after her “fifty cents each way” favourite comes in third. The freaks in the office arguing over who picked the best horse in the one, two and five dollar sweeps. So many things make this time of year truly unique.
My pet group of spring carnival experts are none other than my mates. Granted these boys know their sport, but to put it mildly, the gee gees are well out of their jurisdiction. Undeterred, they still unashamedly spew out phrases like “good over the last furlong”, “I think my nag’s thrown a shoe” and “I was going to box those three”.
Banter between the boys is far more entertaining that any photo finish. By the time the Cup rolls around, the lads are comprehensively baffled by each other’s bull dust and have secretly converted to one of the juvenile methods of horse selection I mentioned earlier. Their confusion does little to stem their torrent of macho horsey dribble.
What about the fashions on the field. Priceless! It’s a time when anything goes and usually does. Who can resist watching the racing telecast as “B” and even “C grade” celebrities’ gush about who they’re dressed by and which envelope opening they’ll be attending next. Pass me the sick bag please!
It’s pure gold watching the dregs of the Australian talent pool swanning around like Hollywood buffoons. It’s impossible to beat the avalanche of colours and textures that are associated the spring racing carnival, even if the majority of them are expelled in the car-park by the masses of intoxicated youth.
Rubbish aside; it’s the jockeys, trainers, owners and especially the magnificent animals that capture the hearts and minds of the nation. Whether you’re a punter, clothes horse or just get infected with “racing fever,” it’s a time on the sporting calendar to be cherished and enjoyed, no matter which category you slot into.
Bets please!.....Tragic.
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